Straight answers about how Ebb works, what it costs and how to be the most supportive partner you can be.
Because understanding your partner means understanding more than just what happens in their head. Their body changes throughout the month, and those changes can sometimes affect energy, mood, physical comfort, appetite, sleep and libido. You don't need to use the cycle to explain everything she does. Instead, it's another piece of information that can help you understand, communicate and connect better.
Ask her. Explain that you're trying to understand her cycle so you can be more empathetic and supportive. In most relationships, making that effort will be appreciated. If she doesn't know either, that's completely fine. You can start with the commonly used average of 28 days for the cycle and around 5 days for the period, then adjust the information as you learn more about her individual cycle.
That's completely normal. 28 days is an average, not a target. Some people have shorter cycles, some longer ones, and the same person's cycle can vary from month to month. Ebb should therefore be treated as a guide rather than a prediction. The more accurate information you can provide, the more useful the reminders become.
It can, but there isn't a simple formula. Hormonal changes throughout the cycle can influence mood, energy and wellbeing for some people. But your partner is still an individual with work stress, family life, sleep, relationships and everything else going on. So don't think: 'She's on Day 25, therefore she's angry.' Think: 'She's on Day 25. I wonder how she's feeling today?' Use the cycle as a prompt to check in — not an explanation for her behaviour.
Not necessarily. Some people experience increased libido around ovulation, while others don't notice any change. Ebb should never be used as a signal that your partner 'should' want sex. Instead, use it as a prompt to create opportunities for connection, affection and intimacy — and communicate with her.
Probably not. 'You're just hormonal' is rarely a helpful contribution to a disagreement. Even when hormones are influencing someone's mood or physical experience, their feelings are still real. Try: 'You seem like you've got a lot going on. Anything I can do?' rather than: 'Is this because you're about to come on your period?'
Start with the simplest option: ask. Try: 'Do you want me to listen, help, or give you some space?' Sometimes she'll want a cuddle. Sometimes she'll want you to take the kids for an hour. Sometimes she'll want to be left alone. The best support isn't guessing correctly every time. It's being willing to ask and listen.
Respect that. Ebb is designed to help you become more aware. It isn't a reason to interrogate your partner about her body. You can simply use the information as a quiet prompt to be thoughtful without announcing: 'Ebb says you're in your luteal phase.'
Yes. Ebb isn't designed to secretly monitor your partner. The idea is to help you become more thoughtful and communicative — not to create a hidden system for analysing her behaviour. You could simply say: 'I've been trying to understand your cycle a bit better because I want to be more supportive. I found this thing called Ebb that gives me reminders.'
Don't panic. Ask her. And if you're using Ebb retrospectively, you can enter the most recent date you know and update it when her next period begins. The more accurate the starting date, the more useful the calendar will be.
Update it. The cycle isn't a perfectly predictable 28-day clock. Ebb should adapt to her actual cycle, rather than expecting her body to follow a prediction. When her next period starts, that becomes Day 1 of a new cycle.
Ebb's predictions will naturally be less accurate if cycle length varies significantly. In that situation, use Ebb primarily as a general awareness and communication tool, rather than relying on it to predict ovulation or other specific events. If irregular cycles are new, persistent or concerning, your partner should consider discussing them with a healthcare professional.
Absolutely not. This is probably the most important thing to understand. Two people can be on the same cycle day and feel completely different. One person may have lots of energy before their period. Another may feel exhausted. Someone else may notice almost no change at all. Ebb gives you a starting point for awareness — your partner gives you the real answer.
No. Hormonal changes can be one influence on how someone feels, but they don't make their opinions, frustrations or emotions invalid. If you're having an argument, deal with the actual issue. The cycle can help you approach the situation with a little more empathy, but it shouldn't be used to dismiss what she's saying.
Pay attention. Notice when she has more or less energy. Notice what makes her feel supported. Ask questions. Remember what she tells you. Over time, you'll learn her pattern rather than relying on a generic cycle guide. That's when Ebb becomes most useful.
No. That's the point. You don't need to know exactly which hormone is doing what every day. You just need enough awareness to think: 'There might be something going on physically that I don't understand. Maybe I should check in rather than assume.' That's a pretty good relationship skill regardless of where she is in her cycle.
Every person is different. Ebb uses the menstrual cycle as a guide to help you become more aware, thoughtful and communicative. It does not predict exactly how someone will feel on a particular day.
Your partner's experience is more important than the calendar. Don't use Ebb to explain her. Use it to understand her better.
If something feels different, difficult or concerning, talk to her — and where appropriate, speak to a healthcare professional.